The Truth About PMS Symptoms: It’s Everything We’re Not Supposed to Say

PMS is more than a punchline or a meme. And it sure as hell isn’t a reason to dismiss women. But that’s what it’s become - a convenient way to label us as irrational, overly emotional, or just plain inconvenient.

Here’s what they don’t tell you: PMS symptoms are real. They are raw. And they are political. Because it doesn’t just bring physical symptoms, it brings out every message we’ve ever been fed about how we’re supposed to act: quiet, pretty, manageable.

What is PMS, Really?

Let’s start with the basics. PMS symptoms refer to the mix of emotional, physical, and mental symptoms many women experience in the days before their period. Cramps. Bloating. Mood swings. Brain fog. Fatigue.

Sometimes it’s a whisper. Sometimes it’s a full-blown scream. But the real pain isn’t just in our bodies, it’s in the silence surrounding them.

What We're Not Supposed to Say

Here’s what we’re not supposed to say:

• PMS symptoms can feel like you’re losing yourself for a few days every month.

• That your productivity doesn’t define your worth.

• That your pain should be taken seriously, not brushed off with “you’ll be fine.”

• That hormones don’t make us irrational-they make us human.

The Gaslight of "Being Manageable"

So why do we stay silent? Because we've been trained to. We’re taught that our pain is an inconvenience and our emotions are a liability. We're conditioned to be "good" employees, "low-drama" partners, and "easy" daughters - all of which means being predictable, manageable, and, above all, quiet about our own discomfort.

This is the real gaslighting. It’s a culture that demands we perform at 100% capacity, every single day, in a body that is, by nature, cyclical.

When we fail to meet this impossible standard, we're not met with compassion. We're met with self-blame. This conditioning is the root of:

• Guilt for not feeling “normal.”

• Shame for being emotional.

• Fear of being judged for asking for the space we desperately need.

It’s an exhausting, high-functioning lie.

PMS Symptoms and Radical Self-Care: A Portal to Better Boundaries

But guess what? You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to feel. You’re allowed to speak. You are not weak because you cry. You are not dramatic because you cancel plans. You are not lazy because you need a break.

The truth about PMS symptoms is that it strips us raw and shows us exactly where we’re still not allowed to take up space.

But it can also become a portal. To better boundaries. To honest conversations. To radical self-care. To finally listening to what our bodies have been screaming for years.

You are not broken. You are cycling. You are changing. You are powerful.

Let’s Talk

Let’s talk about PMS symptoms the way we talk about anything real - with honesty, depth, and zero shame. Share this with someone who’s still suffering in silence. And the next time someone tries to downplay your pain, let them know:

You’re not being sensitive. You’re being silenced. And you’re done with that.

—The PMS Log

Citation:

• Sharma, M. & Khanna, A. (2021). Female sexual orgasm in the Indian context. Indian Journal of Health, Sexuality & Culture, 7(2), 9‑16. Available at: https://ijhsc.info/index.php/ijhsc/article/view/163

• Abhivant, N. & Sawant, N. S. (2013). Sexual dysfunction in depressed Indian women attending a hospital outpatient department in Mumbai. Sri Lanka Journal of Psychiatry, 4(1), 10‑13. Available at: http://dx.doi.org/10.4038/sljpsyc.v4i1.5717